July 7, 2008 - Today was the biggest day of our lives!!!!! We have our referral!!!!! Words just can't express how happy we are. Check the post at the bottom of this page. I've posted her pictures and info in the photo section! She is beautiful! We are told we should travel around the end of August. Can't wait to hold her and pinch those chubby cheeks!!!!
Dearest Family, Friends, and Assorted Visitors!
We decided to start this web page as a way to let everyone know about our progress throughout our journey into international adoption, and to share our joy. I will continue to update this site as often as possible, so we hope you will come back often! And please be patient with me, since I’m REALLY new to the whole web site design thing!
I am including many links throughout the site. If you see something underlined, it will be a link to another site and will open in a new window. Also, at the bottom of each page you will see a Ladybug (in China, they are believed to be good luck!). Click on the ladybug to get to the next page of our site!
So watch as our journey unfolds...
Our Story...
Let’s start right at the beginning. When Tom & I decided to try to start a family, it was devastating to learn that I would never be able to have any biological children. That's when we started discussing the option of adopting. It was an obvious choice. We looked into local and international adoption and the pros and cons of both. After reading several articles about China's Lost Girls and seeing an Oprah episode about Lisa Ling's coverage of the story for National Geographic, I stopped thinking about adopting from anywhere else!
In China, they still maintain a "one child per family" law, which was designed to curb the population explosion in that country. Traditionally, male children are preferred because they are responsible for caring for their elderly parents later in life, as well as carrying on the family name. Therefore, baby girls are often abandoned for no other reason than the fact that they are female!
Thankfully, many of those babies are found and brought to the orphanages, where they are generally well cared for. However, these children do not get as much of the individual love and attention that every baby needs and desires. We want to change that for at least one beautiful baby girl, and give her a forever family!
So the decision was made… and now the fun begins... We found a great adoption agency; Great Wall China Adoptions. They specialize in China adoptions. We started gathering all the documents for our dossier, and hardest of all, finding the funds to pay for it all! The costs for adoption are staggering, although worth every penny in the end.
The first agency we contacted summed it up by saying “you will now beg, borrow, steal and sell everything in order to come up with the money you will need to go through the adoption process!” Well, she was right!
We are looking at a bill of around $25,000 by the time the adoption is final, and that doesn't include any of the typical expenses for a new baby! (ie: clothes, diapers, furniture, etc.) So, we have started doing all kinds of fundraising in order to make this dream a reality.
This brings us to another reason we have created this web page and why we are passing it on to everyone we know…
Would you donate to our fund? Every $1 makes a difference!
Update: December 2005 - We are FINALLY done with our paperchase!!! All the paperwork is now on its way to CHINA!!! In a few weeks, we should get our Log in Date (LID) from the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). I am told we are now considered "paper pregnant"... how funny is that!!! So once our papers are logged in with the Chinese officials, they go over everything with a fine tooth comb to match us with the perfect child! I could not be more excited and anxious!
UPDATE: January 2006 - Ok... so after going shopping with Victoria in Chicago, I really got the uncontrollable urge to shop & play. So, I broke down and registered at Babies R Us... oh BOY was that fun! I really did have a great time with that laser gun! (wish I had one for every day! LOL)Anyway, if you are interested in seeing what we chose (including the nursery furniture!) click on this link: Babies R Us - Shaw Registry. Also, you will see we registered for 2 of some of the bigger items, like crib & car seat, etc... keeping our fingers crossed we get the referral for twins!
UPDATE: February 2006 - What a great way to start my morning. I received an email today from the agency. We now have our official Log in Date it's my mom's birthday!!! So this is the date China officially recognizes as having received our dossier and the official start of the long wait
Update: June 2006 - Well, there has not been much to write about here, since things have slowed down to a dead crawl for referrals. Our paperwork has been sitting over in China since January, and here we are 6 months later and our dossier still hasn't even been through the Review process there. When we first started this process, the wait time was 6 months from LID to Referral. Now that time has been extended to around 12 months to referral. The waiting is SO hard. All we want is to hold our little precious baby in our arms... but we will have to be patient and just keep remembering that everything happens for a reason..
NOW... I have to share an absolutely amazing thing with all my friends and family. I'll make this the "Readers Digest Abridged" version...
I received an email the other day from Paypal, saying we had received a donation to our adoption fund... it was from one of my bestest buds.. my Tori-pie... I was blown away, of course.. but also really confused, because at the bottom was a note saying "Happy Birthday Ilyse"... ok.. strange, I thought... (For those who don't know, Ilyse is one of my oldest & dearest friends who now lives in France with WONDERFUL G-dkids Steven & Juliette) Then I opened another email from Paypal... this one also said we received a donation and the note was from one of Ilyse's family members.. Anyway, then I open a THIRD Paypal email from a person I'd never heard of... Finally, I come across an email from Ilyse... (I read my emails from newest to oldest...) It was a note she sent out to all her friends & family, reminding them that her birthday was coming up and in lieu of lunches or presents, she asked them to come here to our adoption web site and make a donation to our adoption fund. So there I sit at work, bawling my eyes out like a little baby... I am still reeling at the generosity. So I want to take this very public place to say a VERY special thank you to Ilyse. You are an amazing friend, and I want everyone to know! I love you!!!
UPDATE: Sept 2006 - We've had a busy month, what with our 7th anniversary, our big Labor Day Shrimp Boil, and the last of our company visiting us. It was so wonderful seeing Zulema, Beth & Kate & Victoria! We only wish we could have company more often! We are still seeing slow downs but it looks like our paperwork is FINALLY in the review room. Now if things continue the way they are, it looks like the paperwork will remain in the Review room for at least the next 4 or 5 months. We are desperately hoping things will start speeding up again and cut that time down somewhat. It will then be a few more months after review for this to go to the Matching room. The truly depressing part is that the slow down means we will have to lay out at least another couple of thousand dollars! This is because our fingerprints and our INS papers will expire before we get to China. If anyone has any political connections and would be willing to write to help with this, please let me know. We are trying to get the US Government to adjust the rules currently in place regarding the expiration of these documents (the expiration dates were randomly chosen. There was no rhyme or reason to any of it and we are hoping they will extend the expiration dates to 24 months each across the board!)
UPDATE: Nov 2006 - First I have to say Happy Birthday to my Dad & to Z! Ok... so we are still waiting... and waiting... and... well, you all know the drill. No word from China yet about any referrals for the month of October, which was really a downer. We are still hopeful that things will begin to pick up and that we will see some news by around March or so... We have started another fundraiser, but this one seems to be doing much better than the others! I have started making Swarovski Crystal Jewelry by request and sales have been pretty steady! (Thanks mostly to the gang at FHP!) So if you are looking for some great items for holiday gift giving, check it out!
BIG UPDATE: Nov 3, 2006 - I FINALLY have some good news to post! It is official! We are finally out of the Review Room! This is a HUGE hurdle. That means our paperwork is finally in the Matching Room. This is where the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs decides what baby will be a perfect fit for our family! So we are just waiting for our referral. It will probably still be several months before we hear anything more, and we still have to go retake our fingerprints & refile our INS paperwork, but we are now one step closer to getting our daughter home!!!!
UPDATE: Dec 2006 - Well, we had our Fundraiser/Garage Sale this weekend. All in all, not something I would EVER want to do again, but we got rid of some stuff and made about $250 to add to the adoption fund! The good thing was meeting some AWESOME people that stopped by either to donate items for the sale or to just say hi! It was especially terrific to meet some of the people I had been chatting with in the various web groups! *Very special thanks to Trish & her terrific hubby... they stopped by and ended up working to help me pack it all in at the end of the day!! you guys are SUPER!
So a reporter came in from the News Press as well as a photographer, and they are running a follow-up article on Tuesday about how we did with the sale. The reporter this time was RACHEL! love that name! :-) Anyway, here is a link to the first article they wrote last week: News-Press Sunday 12/3/06
Here is the link to the follow up article - There is even a cute picture of Tommy (I'm in the background in my tie dye shirt, of course!) News-Press Tuesday 12/12/06
UPDATE: Dec 26, 2006 - What a terrific holiday season we are having. As I write this I am sitting at our friends, Brian & Debbie's home in New Jersey. We got to spend time with my family & Tommy's family for Christmas Eve & Christmas day. Next stop is Zulema's place in the mountains, and then off to Cape Cod to visit Marla & the gang! Then we will celebrate New Years Eve back at Brian & Debbie's before heading back home.
I am glad we did this since I was starting to get really down about the fact that we still don't have our little girl with us yet. This was originally going to be the trip where she got to meet the rest of her family, but we are still waiting... and waiting... and... well, you get the idea... but NEXT YEAR!!!! :-)
UPDATE: Jan 2007 - Happy New Year to everyone. I think we are still trying to recover from our wonderful trip up north. It was so terrific to see all the family we hadn't seen in so long! New Years Eve was really nice. I had no idea Brian was such a terrific singer!
Now for the latest on the adoption updates: Unfortunately, the news isn't very good. As you probably know by know, things have slowed down considerably for Chinese adoptions. The latest statistics were put together by someone on the adoption boards, and they made a list of predicted/antcipated referral dates. According to the research, our new anticipated referral date will be sometime in AUGUST! That means we should now be expected to travel to China probably in early October. We are really disappointed, but again, this is mostly supposition and rumor. We are still keeping fingers & toes crossed that the Chinese adoption officials will step up the pace and things will speed up... but we aren't going to count on it. So, that's it for this time around. I'll write again when there is something important to let you all know about!
UPDATE: May 2007 - Hello, everyone. I know it has been a very long time since I have updated this site. Unfortunately, that's because I just haven't had anything new to report. Things have slowed down to a near halt in China. The last batch of referrals was only for 1 day of logged in dossiers. It has been really depressing for all of us. We know that when all is said and done, we will be the proud parents of a beautiful child, but right now, it all just seems like it will never happen. When we first started this journey, we were told it would be six months from the time we were logged in to China until we get our referral. Well, it is now 16 months, and we still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel! We have already been re-fingerprinted, and now we will be re-filing for our I-171h. I'm not rushing, since it will only be valid for 18 months, and I'm almost afraid it will take that long to finish this! But I will try to remain positive and as soon as we get the money together, we will resubmit our application to Homeland Security. (Still angry we have to pay for that all over again... ).
Hopefully, there will be something positive to report sometime soon. But in the meantime, we just keep trying to keep the faith. We are also staying somewhat busy by playing with Penny. (See the latest puppy pics on the photo page). Tommy and I are also taking a week off from work at the end of this month to work on the house. Specifically the baby's room. Once that is done, I will post pictures of that too. That's about it for now. Please keep us in your prayers for a speedy and happy ending to this whole process!!
UPDATE: June 2007 - Hi friends & family. Well, today was a big day for me... I went to Babies R Us and ordered the furniture for Rachel's room. Finally decided I had better get started on making that room "baby ready", even if we still have no idea when we will be bringing her home. The latest "Rumors" & "Predictors" guessing that we won't be heading to China until at least March of 2008. That is based on the fact that China has only been sending referals for about 6 days of dossiers each month. For example, our dossier was logged in on 1/23/06. The last group referred had their dossiers logged in between 11/1/05 and 11/7/05. so if you figure that they are taking a whole month to do 1 week's worth of dossiers, we are looking at around 14 more months. Needless to say, I'm finding it harder and harder to "keep smiling". I even had a little "minor meltdown" in Babies "R" Us today. Just seeing all those cute outfits and tiny little shoes brought me to tears... again... oh well... Sooner or later, it will happen, right?
UPDATE: July 2007 - Welcome all. No, we don't have any news yet. Just figured I should post a little something each month until we do! Oh... Check out the photo section for pictures of the nursery. Still have lots more to do in there, but at least the furniture is in! So the only thing going on lately is we had our dear friends the Luz family come visit for a week. It was AWESOME... we had a great time and can't wait for them to come back again! We celebrated Paulie's birthday while they were here and hopefully he enjoyed it as much as we did! Guess that's about it for now...
UPDATE: September 2007 - First and most important... Happy 50th Anniversary to my parents!!! Holy COW... 50 YEARS!!! Pretty impressive... and just to make it even more special, we got our updated I-171h on the 21st.. THEIR ANNIVERSARY DATE! So far, all of our biggest updates have happened on dates around my parents... Mom's birthday for our LID and this... wow... Oh... and Tommy and I celebrated our 8th anniversary this month too! So still no idea when we will become parents, but at least it was a nice month!
UPDATE: November 2007 - Hi friends. Yes, I know it seems like forever since I updated. Actually, it HAS been forever... but it's much harder to get motivated to update the site when there just hasn't been any good news. But I decided I needed to post something at least once a month, so from here on out, all my updates will be posted under here.
I guess one good update is the nursery furniture is FINALLY all in and looks great. I still want to put some finishing touches on the room (like stencil some flowers & stuff on the walls to help break up the pink a little!) but after 5 agonizing months, Babies R Us finally got all the pieces of furniture to us unharmed. Of course I now have a collection of "slightly damaged" pieces that we will sell off (each time they brought a piece that was damaged they told me to keep it and dispose of it how I want... they could have avoided all the hastle if they just would have gotten me the touch up paint!)
Anyway, we are holding on to the extras until after we get our referral, just in case of a miracle and we get the referral for twins!
Today was a bit of a downer. I had met this really great lady online. She was selling some baby clothes and I contacted her to buy them (various sizes, since we have no clue what size our daughter will be! figure whatever won't fit her I will donate to the orphanage when we arrive). Anyway, she has just started a home business and decided she wanted to have a fundraiser for us. I couldn't believe the generosity of someone I had just met. It was amazing. So fast-forward to this afternoon. The day of the fundraiser. Well, it was a total flop. Not ONE PERSON showed up... with the obvious exception of my mom... I KNEW she would be there for us... anyway, we told all our friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. Several people said they would be there but for whatever reason, they just didn't come. We even had it posted online on the community calendars and on the various message boards I belong to. So, I now have a whole bunch of stuff we planned on raffling off (things that were donated by local businesses). We are going to try to sell them at half the value on the local web sites... We did get one donation from a man who was playing pool near our set up (we had it in the lounge of the bowling alley). Oh well... maybe next time.
Well, that's about it for now... I will update again in December! (unless something wonderful happens before then!!!)
UPDATE: January 2008 - So it is a brand new year. I sure hope it moves faster than LAST year, at least until we get "The Call" (our referral). One thing I have decided is that effective immediately, I am keeping nothing but positive thoughts that we will get a referral for twins, so from now on, I will be talking about "them" and our "girls". Hey, we've got a 50-50 shot, so why not hope for the best, right? I've already come up with our 2nd daughter's name too.. Haley. Not sure about a middle name yet, but that will come with time.
There is still no news to report, other than the complete flake-out of the lady I met back in November who wanted to do the fundraiser with us... she apparently had some personal issues, so she decided not to do the catalogue sales thing she was planning, and she also "lost" all the gift certificates that she kept after the failed fundraiser at the bowling alley. I actually had someone who wanted to buy 1 of them but I couldn't sell it to her since I didn't have it in my hand... should have known it will all be too good to be true.
This month also marks the 2nd anniversary of our log in date... what a total drag THAT is. We never imagined we would be remembering THIS anniversary instead of the anniversary of our "gotcha day" (the day we meet our girls!)
UPDATE: March 2008 - Ok, so it's been a LOT longer than I planned since the last update, but the truth is, there really hasn't been anything to say. Well, finally, there is some better news... NO, we did not get THE CALL yet... but the CCAA has FINALLY completed all the referrals for families who were logged in in 2005. So we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! As of right now, we are anticipating a referral in June, and hopefully we will be heading to China before the Olympics!
And with that being said, I have started the whole preperation thing... I've started gathering up all the stuff we will need to bring with us (lots of travel size items, packmate bags, etc) as well as getting the items we will send in our care package to the orphanage - this will include a couple of single-use cameras for the staff to use to take pictures of the girls, along with instructions so they know we want the cameras when we come to pick them up, also baby blankets which we will sleep with for a couple of days so they get our scent, some candies for the "nannies", a photo album with pictures of the house, the nursery, us, lots of family shots, etc.
We will also be gathering all the gifts we will have to bring with us for the nannies and other staffers... I signed up for another message board that is helping me come up with lots of ideas.
UPDATE: April 2008 - We got our updated 171h back from Tampa. Yippee! Too bad this month's referrals only covered 5 days again... So we are back to PRAYING that we will get a referral in June so we can travel before the Olympics!
On another note, I've gotten all the gifts for the nannies taken care of. I've also arranged to get the gifts for the officials. One of the local fruit farmers here makes homemade preserves & chutneys... anyway, he's agreed to can some mango preserves and star fruit preserves for me in plastic instead of glass. I'm going to make a nice little bag of things for the officials and include a jar of each in the bags. Thought they were very "Florida". (It is suggested that you bring them gifts that are representative of your area, so what better than Florida fruits!)
UPDATE: June 2008 - Ok folks... this is a biggie... the latest batch of referrals is coming out right now and no, we are not in this batch BUT... the cutoff date is January 22nd. What does that mean? Well, it means we are ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY GOING TO GET OUR REFERRAL NEXT MONTH!!!!!! So if you are following this little drama at all, I suggest you make a daily trip here starting July 1st to see the big news in the banner! Once the referral comes in from our agency, we will post the referral pictures here, as well as all the info we get.
So the next obvious question will be "when do you travel"? Well, that - of course - will be the big question from us too. From what I understand, it will be at least 6 weeks after our referral. But because of the Olympics, we don't know how it will all play out, but when we do, we will post the info here too!
So this is our news of the hour... can't wait till we can post more.
HUGE UPDATE: June 27, 2008: So as I sat at a red light on my way to work, I decided to check my email. I was going in for overtime, and I don't know why I needed to check right then and there, but I did... and what did I find? Well there was an update from Beth - our current referral counselor (Kim had a family emergency). Updates are not that unusual, but this was the 2nd one today. and it was really late for them... it was almost 6pm our time. Anyway, I read the update and as I'm sitting at this red light, I start screaming... out loud... making the guy in the car next to me look at me like I was nuts! The update was to let us know that "a package was already enroute from China and should arrive Monday or Tuesday". What this APPEARS to mean is that instead of waiting until around July 7th, we will be getting our referral THIS WEEK... Monday or Tuesday!!!
Tuesday is the most likely, especially in keeping with our "milestones happen on important family dates". Tuesday is our friend Paulie's birthday! Funny, but ages ago, we thought maybe we would get our referral on Victoria's birthday in May but instead it looks like it will be her hubby's birthday! WOOHOO... So as one of our travel mates stated so perfectly, "We are in Labor... BREATHE, girls, BREATHE"
HUGE UPDATE CONT'D: June 30, 2008 - Well, we all received an email from our counselor Beth this morning. The package will not arrive until tomorrow. So, as I said, Paulie's birthday! The email also had a little disclaimer about the fact that nobody knows exactly what is IN the package, and there IS a possibility that it does NOT contain our referrals. However, someone asked if Great Wall was waiting for anything ELSE to arrive from China (like Travel approvals or Letters of Intent) and the answer was NO... so there is a better than average chance that the package contains our referrals.... the next 24 hours is going to be absolute HELL.
Disappointment - the package was not referrals... we don't know what it was, but it wasn't what we hoped for... we have to wait even more... I am beyond sad... but I know it will happen soon.... probably not until after July 4th now...
DRUMROLL PLEASE: July 7, 2008 - It is with immense joy and happiness that we introduce you all to our precious daughter!!!! She is currently known as Chen Qun Xin. She was born on Dec 2, 2007 in the Hunan Province. She was left at the gates of the Chenzhou Orphanage in Changsha and has been in their care ever since. Chenzhou is sponsored by "Half the Sky" which is an amazing charitable organization. What that means is that she has been REALLY well cared for since being placed there, and is an incredibly healthy little girl. We have put her referral pictures in the "Photo" section. Can't wait to add more but it seems that won't be till we are in China with her. We have no idea when we are leaving, but so far the best guess is the end of August or beginning of September. Our only disappointment is that because of the Olympics, we will not be allowed to travel to Beijing. After all these years of imagining taking pictures of our new family along the Great Wall, it's sad that we won't be able to do that... but maybe someday we can go back and do that with her when she is old enough to appreciate it!
UPDATE: August 4, 2008 - TA's arrived today. That stands for Travel Approval. So now that we have APPROVAL, all we are waiting for is our Consulate appointment. That is the final step to complete the adoption. Once our agency gets the appointment date, they will let us know and we have to backtrack 2 weeks for our departure date. That means the earliest we would leave is on August 29th, but they said it could be as late as the middle of September. I am keeping fingers & toes crossed that it will be the end of August. I've had it in my head for so long that we would be there and already have our daughter before our wedding anniversary on Sept 5th.... so I'm going to stick with that thought and hope for the best.
UPDATE: August 13, 2008 - We FINALLY got our confirmed Consulate appointments! Now all we need to do is book our flights! WOOHOO... so here is what we got from our agency: Tentative group travel schedule:
Depart U.S. on September 08, 2008 Arrive in China and overnight in major city such as Hong Kong, Shanghai, Guangzhou etc. September 09, 2008 (This arrival city will depend on best price for international flight for you or city of your choice to have overnight before flying into your child's province.) **** we are going to Hong Kong... Fly to your province on the morning of September 10,2008 **Meet Child on September 11, 2008** Pick up child's passport on September 18, 2008 Arrive in Guangzhou:September 19, 2008 American Consulate appointment- September 23, 2008 Family goes to AC to pick up child's passport with visa and take oath – afternoon –September 24, 2008 On September 25, 2008 we head back to Hong Kong and on September 26, 2008 we head home!
UPDATE: August 15, 2008 - Flights are booked. It's really going to happen! This was a good day and a bad day... We are confirmed on our flights from the states to China and from Hong Kong to the Hunan province. on the down side, Marla has decided the trip is going to be too much for her due to the heat and the length of time we will be gone. So she's opted not to come with us after alll. I was really disappointed, but TOTALLY understood why she made the decision. So I'm just hoping the weather will make a major turn and cool down enough for her to change her mind and meet us in China after all... that's always a possibility...
UPDATE: September 4, 2008 - I am starting to firmly believe in the old adage "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger..." Today was hell... got a call at noon from our credit union. I was expecting their call because today was when my new money was going to be delivered so they were calling me to pick it up... or so I thought... but NO... instead they are calling me to tell me that despite all the promises and assurances they gave me not 2 days ago, they could NOT get the new money... I blew my top... I got hysterical... I cried, screamed, cried some more... and all they said was "sorry". So I called the main HQ in Tampa... freaked out some more on the phone with them... told them it was doubly aggravating having to listen to their message on hold, which kept repeating how much they value their members and value our trust... yeah right... ok, so I call my girlfriend Kim... my savior... I'm hysterical crying to her on the phone... I asked her to take the end of the alphabet and I had already started the beginning and we would meet in the middle and call every freakin bank in the county until I got enough new bills... well, she stops me and says her mom works at a credit union up in Punta Gorda... SO... she calls her mom, they have new bills, we are taking a road trip to PG... so I go to my credit union branch on Santa Barbara (because if I go into the one on Del Prado, I would do some serious physical harm to them) and I'm going to withdraw $6000 to take up to Punta Gorda... while I'm in line, my phone rings... its the main office in Tampa... they found new bills for me but they are not at the Del Prado branch... they are in the Santa Barbara branch! I tell her I'm standing in the Santa Barbara branch... she tells me to ask for Joanne.. so I do... they have my money in an envelope in the back... all in new bills, no marks, no folds... just like I need. So I call my girlfriend and tell her the road trip is off... and now I need Valium!!!! or ice cream... LOL... Nothing like a little excitement/aggravation to start my day! BUT... we did get some GOOD news... we got an updated itinerary from the agency... seems we are NOT going to get our daughter on the 11th... we are actually getting her on the 10th!!! the same day we arrive in Changsha!!! We get in around 11am, go to the hotel, unload, and have to be at the civil affairs office at 3:30pm!!!! WOOHOO!
